Spiritual disciplines for adults - solitude and silence
June 2022 (Tidings magazine) - Whatever season you might find yourself in, we all share the reality of a world that is fast-paced, busy and distracting. At any given moment we are pulled by a multitude of things calling for our attention – a text message that wants a reply, children that need care, a meeting that needs to be attended. Simply put, we live hurried lives.
When we look at the life of Jesus, he was not hurried. His life was indeed full as he went from place to place, and taught and healed, and broke bread. But in all of this, he consistently carved out time to step away and find solitude with the Father. To pray and to be still in the divine presence. Luke 5:16 tells us that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Later in 6:12, we find one of many examples of this intentional practice when “Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.” The simple practice of getting alone with God, slowing the pace of life, and finding quiet from the noisiness … this the Spiritual Discipline of solitude.*
Solitude helps us to reconnect with God and ourselves in ways that are impossible amidst the busyness of our lives. The more we find connection with God in the quiet place, the more we can carry it out into the comings-and-goings of our days.
Silence is an integral part of solitude as it helps us to focus in on God’s voice alone. John Mark Comer in his book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry,” which I highly recommend, identifies two dimensions of silence – external and internal. He says, “External is when we get away from all the people and noise and stimuli and let our body come to quiet. Internal – which is harder to do – is when we calm and center our mind on God, we come to a kind of mental and emotional rest in God.”
I have found in my own practice that when I come to this place of solitude and silence, I begin to realize how distracted I have been from my desperate desire to be in sacred rest in God. How thirsty I have been for the living water. Daily time in solitude and silence reminds me how to abide in the vine. It reminds me that truly God’s yoke is easy and his burden is light, and as I go out from that place, I am formed to live in the posture of walking “freely and lightly” in the goodness of God (Matt. 11:30, “The Message”).
Stepping into solitude and silence can prove to be challenging because we have been conditioned to constant activity and noise, but I encourage you still to step into the challenge. I encourage you to step into it with grace for yourself. Do not be discouraged if you become distracted. Spiritual disciplines are just like any other discipline in that they take time and practice to cultivate.
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Here are some steps to begin or to expand the practice of solitude and silence into your life:
1. Pick a time of day.
Let it be one where there is already some stillness around you, whether that’s morning, a lunch break,nap time, or before bed.
2. Pick a place.
Somewhere that is daily accessible like the comfy chair by your window or the back porch. Let it beas quiet and distraction free as possible.
3. Set a modest and grace-filled goal.
If you’re a beginner, start with three to five minutes. If you already practice, can you start to incorporate it into your everyday rhythm? And if this is an embedded practice in your life, what would it look like to increase your time, ideally 30-60 minutes?
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As you step into this practice, I encourage you to remember that wherever you start is just right. There is no “succeeding in” or “failing at” this practice. Resist the urge to say, “I’m bad at this,” or “This isn’t for me.” Be patient with the practice and with yourself. The heart behind it is simply showing up to the presence of God. Finally, if sitting still is unattainable for you for whatever reason, consider incorporating some movement with your hands, feet, or body like knitting, walking or stretching.
In the next issue of Tidings, we will explore a few other spiritual disciplines that can be utilized within solitude like breath prayer, centering prayer and Lectio Divina.
*It is important to distinguish solitude from isolation. While solitude is a chosen and created space where one is alone with God, isolation is circumstantial and often unwanted disconnection from others and the larger community. We were indeed created for relationships and community. It is important to be amidst the body of Christ, but we also need solitude to enrich our relationship with God and to set us in right relationship with community when we return from the mountainside.
About the author:
Julia Metcalf is the director of university ministries at First Presbyterian Church of Tulsa. Julia found her passion for working with young adults while she was an intern at the American Church in Paris. Julia earned a Master of Divinity from Princeton in 2020 and she is a candidate for ordination in the PC(USA).